


Last First Date Jitters

by Punk_Slime



Category: Creep (2014)
Genre: Other, Self-Insert, ew tinder meet-ups, gender ambiguous reader, will update rating and warning accordingly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25568362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_Slime/pseuds/Punk_Slime
Summary: Men are pigs. Josef will tell you that with confidence. When he tells you some men are wolves, you have to wonder which he is.
Relationships: Josef (Creep)/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Ping

You lift your phone screen and glance at the notification out of the corner of your eye. More often than you’d care to admit, you would browse Tinder after work as a way to blow off steam. Something about the swiping was pleasing. Though that was usually as fun as it would get for you. 

With every passing day, you were becoming convinced that there wasn’t a single person worth talking to on there. So was it even worth it to check tonight?

You drop your phone again and lie flat on your back. You were still in your work clothes but your bed was just so inviting…

You jolt awake, realizing you’d started to doze off for a moment. With a drawn out sigh, you force yourself to sit up and get undressed. After tossing the dirty clothes into a hamper, you slip into some worn out sweats and a t-shirt that had been banished to the pajama drawer. 

Perfect, now you’re awake. Now you had an excuse to needlessly judge strangers for half an hour before you inevitably succumbed to exhaustion. Once again you get comfortable, before opening the standard notification letting you know your profile had gotten likes. 

After only a few minutes you’re starting to feel bored with it though. Maybe it was just starting to lose it’s novelty. You swipe a few more times absentmindedly, but snap out of your trance as you land on “Josef”.

He isn’t half bad looking, and his bio is simple if not a little cheesy. It says he’s looking for an adventure, and lists a few of his likes and dislikes. To his credit, this is the first profile you’d seen that mentioned Interview With The Vampire to any capacity.

There wasn’t any harm in swiping on him, it certainly wasn’t hard to block people when things went poorly over text. 

You swipe right, and you have to admit you’re a little surprised to see you’d matched. There wasn’t anything about your profile that really screamed “adventure”, you didn’t think. 

As you look through his photos again, just to get a better idea of what you’re dealing with, you get a message. It’s from him. Had he using the app at the same time? You glance at the clock, which reads 2:30 AM, before opening the new message. 

“Hey, Y/N!”

The typing bubble is still on the screen so you don’t bother responding right away. 

“You can probably tell I’ve never done this, so I’ll be blunt. I’m looking for a partner in crime, a real adventurous soul.”

This time you do start to try to piece together a reply, but before you know it he’s typing again, so you delete it without a second thought.

“Or were you just looking for a hookup?” 

You snort and quirk your eyebrow, staring at the screen in confusion. It wasn’t exactly the most polite opener you’d ever gotten but it was far from the worst. 

This time you get a moment to think of something to say, and you feel like he’s just watching his own screen eagerly. 

“I’m just going with the flow.”

After you’ve sent it, you can’t help but physically cringe. What a lame fucking response. 

But he’s already typing, he’d started almost as soon as you’d hit send. 

“That’s the spirit! Would you like to meet up some time? I know a great local spot.”

Immediately your mind is throwing excuses to bail at you. It seems your time chatting with other users had made you somewhat jaded. It would be nice to go out for coffee though, even if he wasn’t a good date, what’s the worst that could happen?

“Sure, where and when?” 

“Free tomorrow?”

“I can be.”

He sends you the address, it’s not a place you recognize but it isn’t out of the way. When you thank him, and dismiss yourself for the night, he doesn’t respond. Maybe he’d passed out himself.

————————

In the morning you struggled to find the motivation to get up and ready for your date. It had been so long since you’d even been on one at all, let alone a good one. When your phone buzzes you perk up a little.

Come on, Josef. Give me something. 

It isn’t him though, it’s someone else on the app. They open with “Hey”, and you decide you’d rather take the risk by going on a date instead of subjecting yourself to 10 dead-end conversations a day.

Getting into the morning routine helps a little. Once you’ve had a nice, hot shower you feel more energized. Time was passing a little faster than you’d like though, you’d spent so much of it trying to decide on what to wear, you were going to have to leave shortly after getting dressed.

Much to your own surprise, you make it there right on time. Now… did you order first or look around for him? Assuming he’d already arrived.

“Y/N?”

When you first glance around, you don’t see anyone even looking in your direction. You assume you were just hearing things. Until you turn back around and jolt back. There stood Josef, beaming down at you. You hold your chest and sigh, chuckling a little to yourself. 

“Nice to meet you too.”

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he says with an infectious smile. 

“You weren’t waiting here long, were you?”

“Just a minute or two, don’t worry.”

He takes a few slow steps forward, leading the way to the line. Is it rude to assume he’ll pay? You brought your wallet anyway, but usually when the other person asked you out-

“What can I get started for you?”

The cashier’s words interrupt your needlessly frantic train of thought. Now you had something else to panic about. 

“Just a coffee; cream and sugar, please.”

Maybe it’s just your brain trying to torment you but you feel as though Josef’s eyes are boring into you. Judging or admiring, who could say.

“Same for me, thanks.”

He does thankfully foot the bill, and doesn’t seem to think twice about it.

“Where do you want to sit? Or, and I know this is crazy but hear me out, we could walk around the park for a little bit.”

You can’t help but smile when that silly grin spreads across his face. It was nice enough out, and you weren’t completely lost in the area. Plus, it’s a park, there would be plenty of people around.

“A walk sounds nice.”


	2. Chapter 2

Constantly you’re taking note of people in the area, almost completely subconsciously. Your eyes darting around probably weren’t very subtle though, whether or not you’d given it any thought.

“Too adventurous?”

“Wh- no, no. Sorry. Worst case scenario is always playing out in my head.” 

Probably not the most romantic thing to admit on a first date. Josef laughs though, he doesn’t seem hurt by the comment at all. You try to loosen up a little.

“Really though, I’m glad you agreed to meet up. I know it’s a big gamble even talking to someone on that app, especially talking to men.”

Huh. Maybe he gets it.

“Yeah I’ve only actually met a few guys in person after talking to them on there for a while, and no matter what they ended up just… I don’t know, being weird. Almost every guy has sent naked pictures I didn’t ask for, even the ones I went out with. Like immediately after the date they thought it was a good time for them to show me their genitals, like-“ you scoff and stop yourself, shaking your head in frustration. 

Josef just smiles and nods. Not in a condescending way, he really seems like he’s listening, and that he already knows what you’re going through. It’s a weird thing to bond over, sure, but a very personal thing. By now you’ve almost completely focused on Josef or the sidewalk in front of you. He has a few first date horror stories of his own. 

After lapping the park a few times, you check your phone and realize you’d killed a couple of hours just chatting. In your book, that checked off as a good date. 

“You hungry? We can stop somewhere?”

Your stomach tightens with guilt, and maybe a little from hunger. Before he’d said that, you were going to come up with an excuse to bail. But for what? You certainly didn’t have anything to do today. Mainly you just thought since the date had already gone on for a few hours now, it was probably time to leave. Even if you were having a good time, and it seemed like you were both free. 

Take the leap.

“I could eat. I take it you know a place?”

“Naturally.”

Lunch didn’t disappoint either. The place was kind of a dive, but the food was good, and the staff was extremely friendly.

“I can tell you were a little hesitant about going somewhere else. Thanks for taking a day to be adventurous with me.”

Josef has caught you with a mouth full of food, so you just nod and try to chew faster. He continues anyway.

“I’m not usually this gutsy myself. We’ve both been on some shitty dates though, what’s the point? Why not take it for all it’s worth? Sure you could have gone home after the walk, but then what? We would have just sat in our own places, with nothing to do. Just a passable date to remember, that you maybe would have decided wasn’t worth following up on? Gotta make it memorable.”

Hearing the truth did sort of sting. Had the date gone as well as it did, but ended there, maybe it would have just faded in your memory. Sure it would have been above-average for your track record, but it still would have been mundane. It was hard enough convincing yourself to go out as is. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you might have just let Josef drop off your radar if you hadn’t been pushed.

But even after being forced to face it, you still felt like you wanted to be around him. He didn’t seem mad about what the outcome could have been. He was just a brutally honest, rational guy.

“Let’s keep it going then,” you finally say, having finished your food.

“Yeah?” 

His smile was almost paralyzing. Maybe that wasn’t the right word. You were forced to stop and admire it regardless.

“Can I show you something?” He asks, after you’d say there quietly staring like an idiot.

“Oh- yeah. Yeah of course.”

The two of you leave the diner, and just start walking. He leads you to a car, you hadn’t really considered he might not have walked all the way here like you did.

“Can I ask where we’re going first before I get into a car with a strange man?”

“Just the woods right outside town. You have your phone on you?”

You nod.

“Good. It’s just a scenic place, I’m not gonna tie you up and dump you out there.”

Both of you laugh about it, and for the most part your anxiety melts away. You had pepper spray on your keychain, but you tried not to think about needing to use it.

“Alright,” you agree, “Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Josef!” You call ahead, pausing for a moment to catch your breath.

At some point, you’d lost sight of him. This must have been a regular hiking spot for him, because he didn’t seem to get winded at all or trip up over all the roots and rocks jutting from the ground. 

“Come on, it’s just up ahead!”

Hey, at least you could hear him still. Though you didn’t think waiting up was too much to ask, especially on a first date. You huff and push through the pain in your lungs. 

Upon reaching the peak of the incline, you stop and double over. Through labored pants, you glance around, but Josef still isn’t in your immediate view.

God dammit.

The hand on your back sends a shock up your spine and you stand straight up before whipping around. Josef again just smiles at you and apologizes.

“You wanna throw me down the ravine.”

“W...what?” You pant.

“You look like you want to kick me into the ravine down there.”

The irritation doesn’t leave you, but you laugh anyway. He can tell you’re doing it to be polite.

“You’re so tense! This was supposed to be a relaxing hike.”

“Hard to relax… when you’re getting led into the middle of nowhere… and your date keeps sneaking up on you….” you puff.

His silence is a little shocking to you. When you look up at him you realize you’d maybe hurt his feelings. His smile had drooped into a slight frown.

“If you really aren’t having a good time we can just go. I’m sorry. I thought I was being funny, that wasn’t cool of me at all.”

You sigh and finally stand up straight, your chest still stinging slightly. 

“No, no it’s alright… sorry for getting so snippy. We’re close, right? Let’s just keep going.”

For the first time since you’d met him, Josef seems to hesitate before returning to his usual warm self. He offers his hand out to you, and you can feel yourself smiling again as you take it.

This time he really wasn’t exaggerating, you were close. At the end of the trail, which ended very abruptly, there was a drop-off. From the trail you could see out for what seemed like miles. Josef’s hand squeezed yours gently, though he continued to stare straight ahead. For the time being, you bit your tongue to avoid ruining the moment.

Vast stretches of green before you, dotted with yellows, whites, blues, pinks. A slight breeze moved the fields, giving the illusion of a grassy ocean. 

It was sweet of him, you thought, to take you somewhere so gorgeous on a first outing. As spur of the moment as it might have been, he could have taken you anywhere. Or sent you home.

“Y/N?”

You managed not to jump at the sudden sound, despite being totally out of it.

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you agree to meet up? Why’d you swipe on me in the first place?”

“I… You’re cute, and your bio caught my attention. I figured I’d take a chance on you.”

You’d hoped your answer would’ve lightened his mood a little, but he looks just as serious and he had when he’d started talking. Still, he doesn’t look at you.

“As much as I appreciate the compliment, are you sure it was a good idea? I mean, how long did we spend talking about how shitty men are? Do you really feel safe out here? In the middle of the woods with me? A total stranger? You don’t even know where you are right now.”

Now he’s looking directly at you. Too good to be true. That’s what you should have been telling yourself all along.

“I-” you swallow, and try to be sneaky about sliding your hand into your pocket, “You haven’t given me a reason not to trust you.”

“What? Have I given you a reason to trust me though?”

This time you don’t reply, you just look at him and you can’t help but let your disappointment show over your fear. As scary as it should have been, you felt more betrayed by the universe than anything.

“I can tell I took that one too far-” he starts. 

If you believed you had the upper body strength, you would have thrown him off the cliffside.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help but prod at people like that. Just wanted to see what your first instinct would be. Wanna get out of here?”

How can you even tell he’s being honest with you? And how had you let your inhibitions get tossed aside so easily? You didn’t know Josef. At all.

“Yeah,” you answer despite the knot in your guts.

“My place?”

You stare at him, half in disbelief, and half in anger. He responds with a laugh and by holding his hands up in front of himself defensively. 

“I’m kidding! Another time! Really, I’ll make that up to you. I’m sorry I freaked you out. I can tell you could hold your own anyway. You’d definitely kick my ass if it came down to it.”

Was that a compliment? Reassurance? You gave up on trying to decide. The two of you leave the forest side by side. Slowly but surely your disgust with him subsides. Not enough to totally forgive him, of course. When you return to his car, you don’t immediately get in.

“What’s up? You okay?”

“Why’d you swipe on me?”

“Same reason you swiped on me. You’re cute, and you caught my attention.”

He’d answered almost instantly, which admittedly made you feel a little bad at first, but then suspicious. Did he really feel that way or was he just spitting your own bullshit back at you to get a response out? That was probably just your anxiety talking. You get in his car without any more questions, and he drives you back to the cafe where you’d originally met up.

“Hey, Y/N, I really am sorry about that. I want to see you again.”

“It’s… okay. Really. I’ll message you when I get home, alright?”

Your answer doesn’t seem to be what he wanted to hear, but he only looks disappointed for a fraction of a second before he’s once again all smiles. 

“Sure. Let me know you got there safe. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Thanks for not murdering me in the woods,” your tone is so deadpan, this almost doesn’t sound like a joke.

Josef laughs and waves you off, and somehow you make it home without further incident. When you finally get home, you realize how long you’d been out. Fuck. You had work in the morning. It takes all the energy you have left to get a shower, plug your phone in for the night, and slump into bed. And just like that, you’re out for the night.

The morning comes crashing down on you mercilessly. First your alarm, then blinding sunlight through the blinds you’d forgotten to close before bed. It hurts to leave your bed, and even more so to force yourself to get ready to start the day. You’d barely given yourself enough time to do that anyway. Somehow you manage to make it out the door in time and not arrive to work late.

The day even passes by fairly quickly. Then lunch hits, and you finally have a minute to breathe and check your phone. 10+ messages on Tinder?

Oh Christ.

You’d forgotten to message Josef last night before you fell asleep. You didn’t even have the courtesy to message him “sorry” when you woke up. The shift was halfway over and you hadn’t given him any indication you were still alive. And like that, your mood dropped. Opening the messages scared you even more. There was no way he thought this was an accident, not after the date had wrapped up.

Before you read any of the messages in the chat, you start typing your apology. It takes you a moment to calm yourself down and decide not to get too hasty with the sob story. You breathe, and then start to read his messages.

“Hey, just wanted to check in. Figured you forgot to message me.”

“Hope you made it home okay.”

“Y/N you can tell me if you don’t want to talk anymore.”

Oh god.

“Or block me. I can tell these are going through.”

An hour passed between each message. He went on like that for a while. You decide to send the sob story after all. 

“Hey! I’m so sorry, I was totally beat when I made it home last night, and I had to rush to work in the morning. This is the first time I’ve had the chance to check my phone since yesterday.”

The “read” receipt at the bottom appears within seconds. You wince. He doesn’t even respond right away. In fact, your break ends before he even so much as types a single letter. For the rest of your shift anxiety eats at your stomach. 

Time ticks by slower and slower, until finally, you realize you’d worked 10 minutes past the end of your shift. As politely as you can manage, you inform your boss that you’re clocking out, and without waiting for any argument, you leave. 

Almost compulsively, you check your phone. Still no notifications. God the bullshit running through your head made you feel crazy. Who was even in the wrong here? Made up arguments ran over and over in your mind as you drove home. Ones that you’d likely never even get the chance to have.

And then you reached the door to your apartment, and on the tacky welcome mat waited a small, but otherwise nondescript package. The last month of impulsive spending online took the place of the dramatic script you’d been writing mentally. You didn’t think you were expecting anything in the mail?

Upon closer inspection, you realize it’s unmarked completely. Now afraid that whoever had left it was maybe still just waiting around the corner, you hurry to unlock your door and bring the package inside. Checking out the peephole does little to settle your nerves. You don’t have the guts to open the box either. Instead, you leave it on the kitchen counter and retire to the couch.

One more time you check your phone, and one more time you don’t see any response. Just a glaring “read” at the bottom of your apology. You sigh and melt into the couch as you search hopelessly for something to watch. Something to distract yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely no beta readers bc no one has seen this movie fml


End file.
